The Rest Of the Story: FATHER AND SON John 5:16-23

The Rest of= the Story: FATHER AND SON

John 5:16-2= 0

Four months ago, we began this journey through the Gos= pel of John, focusing on passages about Jesus which are unique to the fourth Gospe= l. Last month, as Mother’s Day approached, I was drawn to the Scripture where Jesus, from the cross, assig= ns the care of His mother, Mary, to His disciple John. How could you have a more appropri= ate Mother’s Day text than that? <= /span>

And now, as we arrive at Father’s Day, we find t= hat this Gospel is filled with passages which speak of the relationship between Fath= er and Son—the Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. For our focus today, I chose this = passage from John 5:16-20:

16So, because Jesus was doing these things on the Sabb= ath, the Jews persecuted him. 17Jesus said to them, "My Father is always at= his work to this very day, and I, too, am working." 18For this reason the = Jews tried all the harder to kill him; not only was he breaking the Sabbath, but= he was even calling God his own Father, making himself equal with God.

19Jesus gave them this answer: "I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does. 20For the Father loves the Son and shows him= all he does.

Now, we realize that Jesus is speaking here about the relationship between Himself and the Heavenly Father. But I think that anyone who has be= en blessed with having a good Father can identify with much that Jesus says he= re and find some parallels to their relationship with their own Dad.

So I chose to call this message “Father and Son&= #8221; in hopes that we will learn something about God--as Father and Son--but at = the same time, learn something about being good fathers, good parents, to our o= wn sons and daughters.

You’ve heard the phrase, “Like father, like son.” We all know what = that means. Or how about the phras= e, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” Some wag added, “unless the = apple tree is on the side of a steep hill.” Be that as it may, these sayings p= oint to the truth that we all have a way of marking our children for life—which can be a good thing—or a bad thing—depending.<= /p>

It occurred to me this week that a pretty good questio= n to pose to ourselves as parents is this: “Self, how much do you want your children to be like you?” That’s really a good way to assess our lives—to ask whet= her the example we’re setting is one we would want our children to follow= .

I mean if we really love them, if we want what is trul= y best for them--and if we have the capacity to be honest with ourselves—this question represents a pretty sobering way to take inventory of our lives: ‘Just how much of my life do I want to see reflected in the lives of = my children?”

I realize it may be a little late for some of us to as= k this question. Our children are of= an age now that the answers are already in place—and there is not much we can do to change them. Of course, this question can also apply to grandchil= dren and even great grands or any children that our lives influence in some way. Still, the earlier we as= k the question, the better.

The truth is, moms and dads, our lives do have a treme= ndous impact on the lives of our children—and we each must decide if this i= s a good thing or a bad thing, and how can we make it better. In other words, when people say ab= out our children, “that apple didn’t fall far from the tree,”= how can we be sure they mean this in a positive way?

Let me share with you a few personal suggestions that = come from being a son, and a father, and a follower of Christ.

1. First, KNOW WHAT YOU WANT YOUR CHILDREN TO BECOME.<= span style=3D'mso-spacerun:yes'> Parenting is much too important no= t to go about it with a strong sense of purpose and intentionality. Several of you send me things by e= -mail occasionally—probably in hopes that I will use them in my sermonsR= 12;anything that might help, right?

Well, I do appreciate getting these, and I want to sha= re this one with you. It came fr= om Emmie Hazle. It’s titled “A Different Kind of Drug Problem:”

“The other day, someone at a store in our town r= ead that a Methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoin= ing county and he asked me a rhetorical question, “Why didn’t we ha= ve a drug problem when you and I were growing up?”

I replied that I did have a drug problem when I was yo= ung: I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals. I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather.

I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults. I was also drug to th= e woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn’t put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.

I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed= out with soap if I uttered a profanity. I was drug out to pull weeds in mom’s garden and flower beds a= nd cockleburs out of dad’s fields.

I was drug to the homes of family, friends and neighbo= rs to help some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline,= or chop some firewood; and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single d= ime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed.

Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, or think. They are stronger than cocaine, cr= ack, or heroin; and, if today’s children had this kind of drug problem, America= would be a better place. God bless = the parents who drugged us.”

Okay, I realize that sounds hopelessly old fashioned—but just maybe the parents described in this piece understo= od their purpose better than many of today’s parents do. At least give them credit for going about the task of parenting with a lot of intentionality—with clear purpose. They knew what they = wanted their children to become (not just DO, but BE—character!).

Maybe this is a bit of a reach, but I pick up on this = matter of intentionality in our text. Listen to verse 20: “…the Father loves the Son and shows= Him all He does.” God had obviously settled the question of whether He wanted His Son to be like Him.= He did—and, of course, He is!= Later, Jesus would say, “If you’ve seen me, you’ve seen the Father” (John. 14:9).

What a beautiful picture of intimacy between Father an= d Son, parent and child. We can lear= n from this relationship--something about knowing what we want our children to bec= ome and then doing the things that will help to get them there.

Our children will in many ways reflect our intentions = for them—or our lack of intentions. I know we all have freewill,= and sometimes children will exercise theirs and rebel against even the very bes= t of intentions that their parents have for them.

But when children grow up, they will usually reflect t= heir parents, and to a lesser degree, their teachers, ministers, coaches, and others. Friends, we need to k= now what it is that we want our children to become.

2. Closely coupled with this is another suggestion: TE= ACH YOUR CHILDREN WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO LEARN.= I lost my father a few years ago, but I often remember dad when I’m in the middle of doing something and recall that he is the one who taught me how to do it. He wo= uld first teach me and then give me the opportunity to put his teaching into practice. He wanted to make s= ure it took!

On some of those occasions, I have realized there are = things that dad taught me that I have yet to pass along to my children—and I have looked for the right opportunity to do so. Many of the most important things = we learn in life are simply passed along from one generation to the next—= ;but again, this needs to happen with intentionality, with a sense of purpose.

When it came to teaching his children, nothing was more important to my father than teaching us about basic matters of faith and fa= mily and Christian character and responsibility. Let me share another e-mail with you—this one from Mike and Sandra Lowe.

It’s about a church in Atlanta that had invited a retired form= er Pastor back to speak. He was = 92 years old, and when the time came, it took him quite a while to get from his seat up to the pulpit. He pla= ced both hands on the pulpit to steady himself and then slowly began speaking.<= /p>

“When I was asked to come here today and talk to= you, your pastor asked me to tell you what was the greatest lesson ever learned = in my 50-plus years of preaching. I thought about it for a few days and boiled it down to just one thing that m= ade the most difference in my life and sustained me through all my trials. The one thing that I could always = rely on when tears and heartbreak and pain and fear and sorrow paralyzed me. The only thing that would comfort = was this verse:

“Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells= me so,

Little ones to him belong, they are weak but He is strong.

Yes, Jesus loves me…The Bible tells me so.

This is what’s most important to teach our children—about the God who loves us, the Lord and Savior from whose l= ove nothing can ever separate us. In that same e-mail was a senior adult version of “Jesus Loves Me.” It begins:

“Jesus loves me, this I know, Though my hair is = white as snow,

Though my sight is growing dim, Still He bids me trust= in Him.”

It’s a reminder that the lessons we teach our ch= ildren are carried with them throughout their lives. I’m so thankful I had a dad = and mom who taught me the most precious lesson we can learn: “Jesus loves= me, this I know.” Let’= ;s make sure we’re teaching our children.

3. And in that regard, let me make one more suggestion= : LIVE BEFORE YOUR CHILDREN THE WAY YOU WANT THEM TO LIVE. Our children pick up more from wha= t they see in us than from what they hear from us. When Jesus was being criticized for healing on the Sabbath, He replied, “My Father is always at his work = to this very day, and I, too, am working." (v.17)

Jesus goes on to explain further in verse 19: “I= tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he se= es his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.”= ;

Something like this happens between us and our childre= n, doesn’t it? Now, when it comes to God and Jesus, we speak of “Incarnation.” “The Word became flesh and d= welt among us…full of grace and truth” (John 1:14). Whose grace and truth? Well, the Father’s! Remember how Jesus says it: “whatever the Father does the Son also does.”

Well, we need to understand that much of what we are a= nd what we say and do also gets incarnated, embodied, in our children. As parents and children, our lives= get tangled up in more ways than we can imagine. Our job as moms and dads is to mak= e sure the entanglements are helpful and enriching, and never, ever harmful, in the lives of our children.

In the 1992 Olympics in Barcelona, Spain, Derek Redmond was favored to win the 400 meter race. Halfway into his semifinal heat, t= hough, a sharp pain shot through his right leg and he fell to the ground with a to= rn hamstring.

But before the trainers could get to him, he struggled= to his feet and began hobbling toward the finish line. He later described this as some ki= nd of “animal instinct”--he had to finish that race.

As he hopped along on one leg, a man made his way thro= ugh the crowd, slipped past security, and ran out onto the track. He was wearing a t-shirt that said, “Have you hugged your child today?” and a cap that said, “Just Do It!” It = was Derek Redmond’s father.

“You don’t have to do this,” he told= his wounded son who was crying out in pain. “Yes I do,” Derek replied. R= 20;I have to finish.”

“Then we’ll do it together,” his fat= her said. “We’ll fini= sh it together.” And Dad wrapped his son’s arm around his shoulder; a= nd they slowly hobbled past the finish line.&= nbsp; People in the crowd began to clap, then they stood, and some began to weep as they realized what was happening—as that father and son cross= ed the finish line together.” What a powerful story!

Parents, sometimes you and I can be with our children = to help carry them through the hard and painful moments of their lives. At other times, though, we canR= 17;t be present physically; but the lessons we’ve taught them, the examples we’ve set, and above all, the Lord we’ve had the privilege of introducing them to…together, these will carry them.

When we know this, and we know that our children do to= o, we’ve done our best. We’ve been good, effective parents who have honored Christ with our own lives and continue to bring honor to Him through the lives of our children. May it be so in our families—honoring Christ through who we are and who we are helping our children to become!