MAKING ONE OUT OF TWO Genesis 2

MAKING ONE = OUT OF TWO Genesis 2

Last week, we began a journey through the book of Gene= sis—which I’ve chosen to call MAKING OUR WAY THROUGH TROUBLED TIMES. We all must go through difficult circumstances —and we find these troubling moments all through Genesi= s. It’s an ancient book, and yet surprisingly up-to-date.

Making Somethi= ng out of Nothing was our theme last Sunday as we studied God’s creation= and especially His gift of Light. We traced “the Light” from Genesis 1 all the way into the New Test= ament--where God’s light is focused in the person and work of Jesus Christ, “= ;the Light of the World.”

You will recall from Genesis 1 that as God concludes e= ach day of creation, He declares, “It’s good.” He makes the light, along with the heavens and the earth, all the vegetation and animal life—and He says= ‘it’s all good.’

Chapter two, then, provides some details about creatio= n that were not given in chapter one. We’re told that God puts the man in the garden and tells him to work and take care of it. So = work is part of God’s plan for us.

It’s all good—until we get to verse 18 of chapter 2. Here, for the firs= t time since God began creating, something is NOT good. Listen: Genesis 2:18—The LOR= D God said, "It is not good for= the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

So God proceeds to create the woman, right? You would think, but that’s = not what happens next. Look at ve= rses 19-20:

“Now the LORD God had= formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air.= He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Ad= am no suitable helper was found.”

How fascinating it must have been for Adam to name all= the animals, but there’s more to it than that. In the process of seeing all these= other creatures, it becomes clear to Adam that he has a need that none of these o= ther animals could meet—“...for Adam no suitable helper was found.”

“Helper” is an interesting word. Men read this and realize that whi= le “a dog is man’s best friend,” they’re not really su= ited for some things—like, say, bringing you chips and dip during the ball game. A dog will eat them bef= ore he gets them to you. We need a different kind of helper for that, right fellows? Surely that’s what God means= here. Please don’t respond out lou= d.

Okay, so that’s not exactly it. When you consider what Adam needed= and what this passage means, think “companionship,” or even “= completion.” God has in mind a relationship bet= ween the man and woman that both of them will see as being truly necessary--not = just for their continued existence—procreation, in other words—but a= lso needed for their happiness and well-being.

This word “helper” is actually used later = in Scripture to refer to God Himself. Psalm 46:1 says, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-pres= ent help in trouble.” GOD i= s our HELPER!

A “helper” is one who sort of “fills= in the gaps” for the one being helped. Remember the rib taken from man’s side to make the woman—= ;do you think God did that to help us “get the picture,” maybe? Eve becomes what is missing from A= dam.

So, a helper supplies what is missing in the other. She enables him to be and do what = would not be possible if he was still by himself. And he does the same for her—= ;the helping is mutual.

By themselves, the man and woman are inadequate and incomplete. They are intended= to be together by God’s design. They are completed as they join together as husband and wife.

Let’s go back to this incredibly beautiful and inspiring description of the one-flesh relationship--Genesis 2:21-25:

“So the LORD God caus= ed the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a wom= an from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bo= ne of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,
for she was taken out of man."

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother= and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both nake= d, and they felt no shame.”

So there we have it—God’s good plan—= “the two will become one flesh.” &nb= sp; What a wonderful picture of marriage—only God could come up wi= th this. Two people, male and female, become “one flesh”—this is clearly God’s intention--but is= it realistic?

We’re talking about MAKING OUR WAY THROUGH TROUB= LED TIMES. Would anyone attempt to argue that these are NOT troubled times for marriage? The evidence is everywhere.

Did you see this e-mail that was making the rounds rec= ently?: “Once upon a time a perfect = man and perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.

One snowy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was drivi= ng their perfect car along a winding road when they noticed someone at the sid= e of the road in distress. Being t= he perfect couple, they stopped to help.

There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any chil= dren, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their car. Soon they were driving along from = house to house making deliveries. <= /p>

Unfortunately, conditions continued to worsen, and the perfect couple and Santa had an accident.&= nbsp; Sadly, only one of them survived.&n= bsp; Then the e-mail asks: “Which one (survived)?”…and tells us to scroll down for the answer.

The answer: the perfect woman survives, of course. Everyone knows there’s no su= ch thing as, well…a perfect man—with or without a long white beard= —the perfect man doesn’t exist.

Then it tells women to stop there—the joke is ov= er--but men are instructed to continue scrolling down. There you find this explanation: Since perfect men don’t exis= t, as every female knows, the perfect woman must have been driving—which explains why there was an accident in the first place. And if you happen to be a woman and reading this, it illustrates another point: women never listen anyway.

Well…there’s a reason there are so many jo= kes and funny stories about men and women. Let’s be honest: the relation= ship doesn’t always work out quite the way God intends it to.

But think about this: when Adam and Eve later have to = leave the Garden, the one thing they take with them is EACH OTHER—and a tru= ly good relationship between husband and wife may be about as close as you and= I can get to that Garden Paradise while we’re still here on earth!

When it’s not like that, though—when makin= g one out of two gets sidetracked by a constant struggle to decide WHICH ONE, if = you know what I mean—it is then that we need to realize that God provides= a way through troubled times. A= nd when it comes to the marriage relationship, He begins showing us the way—t= he right way, the only way to have a truly happy marriage—God shows us t= his back in the second chapter of the Bible, Genesis 2.

Every time I have the privilege of doing premarital counseling, I finish the sessions with three principles that come right from this very passage before us today. They not only will get us through “troubled times”—if followed closely, these basic rules f= or marriage will prevent most of the troubles our marriages face.

Here’s = Rule No. 1: Marriage Must Be a PRIORITY Relationship. When we marry, our spouse beco= mes the most important human relationship we have. Only our relationship with the Lor= d is more important.

Genesis makes this clear. For the majority of us, the most important relationship we have prior to marriage is with our parents. There are exceptions, of course, but again, by God’s design, the parent-child bond is powerful and it ranks number one in importance before we marry.

With that in mind, li= sten again to Genesis 2:24—“For this reason= a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

You see the importance placed on this relationshipR= 12;LEAVING father and mother in order to be united with, or to “cleave to,” one’s spouse. How many problems arise in marriage because the husband or the wife or both are unwilling to do this?

Some wag said that getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. You = order what you want, but then you see what the other fellow has—and you wish you had ordered that!

Well, that’s a recipe for “troubled times!” For some spouse= s, though, the temptation is not to find somebody new, but to go back to the “tried and true”—Mom and Dad, for example—as in the proverbial “failure to cut the apron strings”—unfortunate= ly, a very common problem.

Sometimes the husband or wife wants to spend more time= with old friends than with their spouse. Or all the attention can get focused on the children instead of the = marriage. Or one or the other may be having = an affair with their job or their hobby. It’s not just another person that can steal our time and affec= tion. So don’t forget Rule 1: R= 20;Marriage Must Be a PRIORITY Relationship.

Rule No. 2: M= arriage Must Be a PERMEATING Relationship.&nbs= p; You know that word—permeate--for one substance to penetrate and pass through and blend with another.

Genesis 2:24 says “…they will become one flesh.” Speaking of that husband and wife, who have left father and mother in order to cleave to each other, they now have the opportunity to focus on their union and truly beco= me ONE!

But this requires a “permeating relationship,= 221; and it’s not easy! In o= ur home, we have a bottle of olive oil and a bottle of balsamic vinegar. Sometimes we pour a small amount o= f each of these into a plate and use a hearty whole grain bread to dip into that wonderful concoction. It̵= 7;s quite a treat—you should try it!

I’ve noticed, though, that the oil and vinegar a= lways stay separated on the plate, and the only way to get both flavors in the same bi= te is to make sure that the bread makes contact with both. Otherwise, you get just olive oil,= which is a little bland; or you get all balsamic vinegar, which is too pungent.

It occurs to me that some COUPLES are like that—= what potential they have for a “tasty relationship”—if they we= re each just a bit more permeable—if they could find a way to blend their strengths, tastes, and characters and not let their differences separate th= em.

You’ve heard that “Marriage is love. Love is blind. Marriage is an institution. Therefore, marriage is an institut= ion for the blind.” Well, that’s not true. Love m= ay be blind—often it is--but the blinders come off once we’ve been married awhile—and we begin to see very clearly the things we somehow missed before!

“In the first year of marriage, the man speaks a= nd the woman listens. In the second = year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third, they both speak and the neighbors listen!”

It can be that way, but good marriages get past this b= ecause the couple is committed to truly becoming one—sharing together in eve= ry aspect of life—physically, yes, but also mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. This is a blendi= ng of all of life, bringing everything we are to the marriage--building upon our strengths and minimizing our weaknesses as the two, over the course of a lifetime, become ONE.

Notice that this doesn’t happen over night. It’s not saying “I do&= #8221; and thinking it’s done. Unity candles are always pre-mature—unless you see them as the promise and potential of marriage, not the reality.&nb= sp; Becoming one is a lifelong process and privilege.

Which gets us to Rule No. 3: Marriage Must Be a PERMANENT Relationship. This is simple. Marriage will = not be a priority, nor will it be permeating, unless the husband and wife are both fully committed to marriage as a permanent relationship.

Do people break this rule? Of course, we do. We break God’s rules—e= ach one given to make our lives better—but we break them anyway—and= our merciful Heavenly Father forgives us.

Listen, it’s just as much a sin before God to NO= T make marriage a PRIORITY or to fail to let it PERMEATE every aspect of our lives= as it is to end the marriage before death.&nb= sp; Lots of marriages end without there ever being a divorce decree. This message is not about whose be= tter or holier or more committed than anybody else—we all have sinned and = fall short of God’s ideal. <= /p>

So, if anyone is on a guilt trip over this, let me rem= ind you we’re all traveling together—because we’ve all failed= in some way. But none of us has = to go through life guilt-ridden. In Christ Jesus, we are forgiven--the slate is wiped clean! And by God’s grace, we have = the wonderful opportunity to do better!

How do we do this?&nb= sp; In the wisdom and strength of God, we follow His rules for marriage: PRIORITY, PERMEATING, PERMANENT. This is how it works best--it’s God’s way for marriage to be one of = the greatest privileges we have in life and the most cherished human relationsh= ip of all—which is exactly what our loving Heavenly Father intends it to= be--His way, with His blessing!